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Our friends for over two decades, a person who's overcome many challenges, and I respect her for that. Yet, she's often caught off guard by people. Her husband walked away, and it was a huge shock. Several of her friends vanished then, as they were drawn to him. This surprised her. She made greater energy to be my friend, and must have understood more acutely the meaning of companionship.

A Recurring Theme In Relationships

Over the years, many close to her vanished without her being knowing the cause. The company she worked for turned on her, although she had been very skilled at her work, her exit happened not understanding the reason for the change.

Present Situation

Recently, both of us retired and are seeing time together, yet I realize my role in our friendship is as the audience. I open topics of conversation only for her to redirect the talk toward what interests her. Regarding political views, she expresses strong opinions. My effort is to suggest verifying facts and alternate views.

She's been organizing a trip to a country I know well repeatedly even called home for a while. I attempted to provide insights, yet it was not welcomed. She essentially just desired validation of her plans. I've just come back from 30 days in that place she is eager to reconnect, however, I hesitate.

Considering the Choices

I hesitate in this role who abandons suddenly without explanation, but I don't think she'll truly understand the consequences of her behaviour on how I feel about myself. Currently, my state is pulling back. What should I do?

Potential Solutions

It's possible to walk away, however, that approach is rarely the easy answer that we desire. Yet having a direct talk with the goal of a solution requires bravery and openness for each of you.

Experts suggest using a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"The first step involves describing how things go when you talk. It should be objective and clear and essentially exactly what occurs. Next involves sharing how this leaves you feeling. There should be no argument about this. What you feel are your feelings, after all. Finally is to ask ways you together can shift the pattern between you."

Remember that she also has her own side, meaning you must to stay open to hear that. An approach that works is telling her:

"Please share your thoughts while I will not say anything for a set time."

It's remarkably effective to encourage better communication.

Key Takeaways

This person could ignore your concerns, as some people hold onto a deep-seated story: they rely on a version about themselves they cannot let go of since their identity depends upon it and it's all familiar to them. This is difficult because there's no clear path with these people, mere obstacles. However, she might initially present like this and then think on your words. And should you never reach a fix, it provides satisfaction that you've been honest with her.